Love
The tale of love transformed itself into a reality of love. I have now grown to the level of understanding love. It is she who uplifted me to that level where true love pervades. The funny thing is that she is not consciously aware of how her essence of presence teaches me love.
Previously I wrote about the tale of love. As the name suggests it was just a tale in my mind, although it happened really. It became a tale of love rather than a true love was because love was covered by my desires. It was a foolish boy's desire to become a hero in the class and for that he wants to have a lover. That desire to be a hero then slowly faded away and the only thing that remained was the desire to have her as a lover. Unfortunately love was covered around by desires and that instilled fear into me. Desires originate from thoughts about "me and mine" and this is called as ego.
In the "Tale of love" I suggested about my first lover. Then also came many lovers for me. Just like the first one, every one gave the same results towards me. From that I could sense a pattern of fate rather than a theory of random possibility. I thought the reason why my first lover doesn't love me was because I was incapable of having a brilliant girl like her and that she was beyond my limits. So I thought my next lover would be the one who would be within my reach. But the result was the same. Then came another and another and yet another one but the results were all the same. No one loved me. Even though I am just consciously choosing a lover rather than waiting for somebody who would love me, I seriously loved them all with utmost sincerity and I didn't ever tried to love someone just for fun. I honestly didn't believe that there would be someone for me who would come and loves me.
In the "Tale of love" I mentioned about my lover who had returned to my place after several years. Her return just gave me hope, at the same time it took away my hope too. In my childhood I thought I was not capable of having her as my lover because she is too brilliant for me. But I strongly believed that when I grow up I could match up with her and then she would love me. Now that I have grown up but still I am as incapable to her as in the past but it is now in a whole different way. It is that she now has a boyfriend. I know how sincere her love is to him because I know that is where her brilliancy lies.
I understood her brilliancy, so I decided to not chase after her. If there is such a thing as fate, and if it is fate then let it come naturally. Someday if you happen to read this, I just want you to know how I felt. She is the one who is loved by the sun.
Previously I wrote about the tale of love. As the name suggests it was just a tale in my mind, although it happened really. It became a tale of love rather than a true love was because love was covered by my desires. It was a foolish boy's desire to become a hero in the class and for that he wants to have a lover. That desire to be a hero then slowly faded away and the only thing that remained was the desire to have her as a lover. Unfortunately love was covered around by desires and that instilled fear into me. Desires originate from thoughts about "me and mine" and this is called as ego.
In the "Tale of love" I suggested about my first lover. Then also came many lovers for me. Just like the first one, every one gave the same results towards me. From that I could sense a pattern of fate rather than a theory of random possibility. I thought the reason why my first lover doesn't love me was because I was incapable of having a brilliant girl like her and that she was beyond my limits. So I thought my next lover would be the one who would be within my reach. But the result was the same. Then came another and another and yet another one but the results were all the same. No one loved me. Even though I am just consciously choosing a lover rather than waiting for somebody who would love me, I seriously loved them all with utmost sincerity and I didn't ever tried to love someone just for fun. I honestly didn't believe that there would be someone for me who would come and loves me.
In the "Tale of love" I mentioned about my lover who had returned to my place after several years. Her return just gave me hope, at the same time it took away my hope too. In my childhood I thought I was not capable of having her as my lover because she is too brilliant for me. But I strongly believed that when I grow up I could match up with her and then she would love me. Now that I have grown up but still I am as incapable to her as in the past but it is now in a whole different way. It is that she now has a boyfriend. I know how sincere her love is to him because I know that is where her brilliancy lies.
I understood her brilliancy, so I decided to not chase after her. If there is such a thing as fate, and if it is fate then let it come naturally. Someday if you happen to read this, I just want you to know how I felt. She is the one who is loved by the sun.
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