Anjali

It was a night of February 14th, the valentines day. I was waiting for a friend at the church. I was sitting under the tree and was thinking of my college friends, how they were all talking about their love stories. It was sad for me but I didn't express it. All I could think back to my story was of rejection. It is the most remorseful situation of my life. I was thinking that it was better to have break-up relationship than to have rejection. At least we could know that we were loved at some point in life. I felt heaviness in my heart and sitting under the tree inside the church compound, I prayed to God, "Please God, show me the love of my life this night itself, Please."

After that, I walked around the church a few times to see if there is some girl watching me or if there is someone that I know of. Unfortunately, no one was there that I could get a glimpse of. I thought how foolish of me to think like that. Just then my friend arrived and we walked around the church again and went towards the church gate. I noticed three people coming through the gate. A girl was there too. I couldn't see them at the distance. When we got closer, I recognized that the girl, she is the love of my life.

This girl, whom I met, when I was in the second year of my college was one year junior to me. When I first spoke to her, I felt a sudden affection for her. I didn't take it as anything serious. But when I began to know more about her, everything was surprising for me. Her ideas and talent in music were all surprises for me. At some point, it turned into love. I proposed to her, but she immediately rejected me. I didn't try to say anything further to her. I thought perhaps I was wrong. But that incident really hurt me and changed my life.

This girl, who rejected me, when I saw her again on the night of February 14, when I prayed, made me lose my mind. She and her parents were visiting the church. Because I lost my mind, I couldn't even talk clearly to them. After I went past them, I lied down on the ground, because it was too much happiness for me. My wish was truly being fulfilled. I and my friend waited there at the church till midnight. Because I want to tell her that I love her that night itself. So I waited for her to get to her home. I messaged her that I love her. Even if she rejected me, it was okay for me, since I know that my prayer was being fulfilled. So the next day at the college, I walked to her and talked to her. She was still rejecting me. Some days after that, she said, "Timmy, Please understand me." These words struck my heart like a lightning. At that moment suddenly all my hope got drained away and I cried. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. I became impulsive. I couldn't control my emotions. I couldn't suppress my pain. Everything after that was lifeless for me. I couldn't after that at this moment in my life get happier again. Soon my college days were over and after that for 3 months I was depressed. I was living alone in my ancestral home. Every night was sleepless and I was being impulsive with pain and intense sadness. I couldn't listen to any songs nor could I do any work sincerely. I gave away my Shiva idol because I understand that I couldn't get my happiness in spirituality again. Everything became inert for me and everything that I see was lifeless and colourless.

That night is still unanswered for me. Did my wish was truly being fulfilled or was it just my imagination? All I know is that I couldn't get her out of my mind to this moment in my life and her name is still unceasingly lingering in my mind: Anjali.

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